“Your phone is designed to burn through dopamine”
I’ve read this many times before, but this time it hit differently! Does this mean that, with my own phone and by my own choice, I’m destroying my body’s motivation system?! Becoming a short wired lab rat is not one of my 5 year goals!
In my opinion, there will never be a right moment for challenging oneself, be it physical or mental. That workout will always feel like such a mountain to climb, even if it could take place in your living room. Equally, doing a social media detox always seemed impossible out of fear of missing out (FOMO). It would be lying to say that I haven’t attempted such challenges before in my life. Sometimes I failed and sometimes it worked but only for the duration of the challenge. Almost as if it just wasn’t enough. Not enough time off, not enough reasons, not enough at stake.
How it started
At the end of a particular anxious day scrolling for the latest average of 4 h 59 m, I found an IG post by @gains (owner of the intro quote). I thought to myself, “What if?”, only for my brain to instantly revolt that I should better start on a Friday morning, for a proper weekend-long experiment [eyeroll]. However, this only pushed me more into really considering it!
Now I’m no stranger at tracking my social media consumption. On top of past years of experience working in the social media marketing industry, only this year I aimed at my “humble” IG limit of 2 hours or less, with a total of 4h of phone screen time. Bear in mind, I don’t create posts/reels; I mainly post stories or mindlessly scroll, like, and comment. With that said, I was doing well until I wasn’t.
So last Friday at 18:15 I announced my departure on IG stories, barely reaching 20 views; I knew this was mostly an attempt at some level of accountability. A journey towards a more calm, focused, and mentally sharp self. There were no set rules, but for the sake of my sanity I decided for no Instagram and no YouTube which is pretty much 99% of my social media consumption. But was about to get crazy lol
The First 24 Hours: Withdrawal & Awareness
I didn’t announce this to my family as there were out, leaving me to move on with cooking dinner. Sure, this will be easy! Only to find myself reaching for and unlocking my phone in-between stirring the food or washing another round of dishes. I found it funny that I would dry my hands so often and pace back and forwards from one corner of my kitchen to the dining room, only realizing when faced with the phone screen and a reminder of the challenge. Muscle memory was strong with this one haha
(You might be wondering why the phone wasn’t just kept out of sight: my autistic son has epilepsy so I have to be on call in case it happens. As to why I didn’t delete the apps, I was not ready for that level of commitment but I still carried on.)
The after dinner slump was particularly difficult, but going through some hard family times I am now grateful that I got that time to have some one to one chats. This was the biggest win so far, but it was then followed by the “on the toilet” scroll time and “in the bed” scroll time. Suddenly I had all this time and didn’t know what to do with myself. I called it a night and went early to sleep. Another win.
The Second day: Clarity & Reconnection
I was up particularly early. I did reach for my phone, but more so to check the weather and plan the day. Then it was quiet. Took some time to think about the day ahead, and without further delays I was on my way to the allotment, bright and early. The idea of a walking scroll loomed, but when I looked at my phone I stopped myself before unlocking it. I felt something shifting. And not only the craving for scrolling but using my phone overall, particularly seeing the world through my phone. While I normally would have documented my time on the plot, today I felt like keeping those magical moments for myself, only snapping a totally unpolished harvest shot.
After lunch, instead of a leisurely scroll, I found myself using the allotment cabbages to make sauerkraut and even bake a cake. The only photo I took was of the weighed cabbages, as it’s a part of my ongoing project to track how much I manage to grow per year, putting some numbers behind the time and effort of gardening and GYO.
A usual social media consumption session is watching a YouTube video while walking to my local supermarket. I’d choose it over driving so that I can bank on hours outside, weight wearing, and daily steps. But this time I just observed nature, and I was surprised on the variety of foraging opportunities that I hadn’t noticed before.
Not only had I started to be present and reconnect with my surroundings, but I also had the urge to talk to long lost friends who I reached out to on WhatsApp, and those chats re-energised me more than a reel ever could!
The Final Day: Reflections & Realizations
It rained the whole day on Sunday, so as expected, people had more time for social media, thus notifications kept popping up! I had anxious racing thoughts of missing out on world news; I found myself googling “latest news”. Then I stopped. What were once excuses for endless scrolling kept piling up as if I was bound to fail. I was so tempted to end the challenge early, but I knew that I had to stay strong and distance myself from the phone. I took some deep breaths and got up. I paced around like a lion in captivity. My eyes fell on my dearest place in the house, my bookshelves. I suddenly smiled and felt a familiar warmth in my chest, a comforting feeling of slow leisured moments.
In that moment, I realized that social media was depriving me of what I loved most, but somehow “never found the time to do”! Sigh. Reading, being present or creative, connecting with people in real life, cooking or pottering about and even cleaning are intimate, precious moments of which life is made of! Living happens offline and should be protected from becoming a past time.
Apart from actually doing things offline, I also realized the impact it had on my mental health! I had time to think, but not only on what I was doing but my brain started firing ideas and memories. I started processing the current world events on my own time. I cried. Not automatically triggered by a heart-breaking video or image but because I felt it deeply. I took myself on long pages of journaling rather than short daily briefs. I started craving going to the library or explore the city and even receiving/sending letters. I am finally writing here, allowing my creativity to live longer than a 24 hours IG story or a fleeing reel.
For myself, this 72 hours weekend social media detox really opened my eyes to a better, more effective way of balancing and settings boundaries around our digital usage / consumption. Tracking my daily apps / phone time was not enough, but a complete disconnection and deeper change was needed. I want my time online to be a nourishing and an inspiring experience rather than an energy sucking endless trap.
A 72 hours long weekend without social media helped me to:
pause. hear my thoughts. reconnect with ideas and memories.
be present. observe the world. sit in silence. every activity became a meditation
remind me of my passions and that I do have the time to pursuit them. read
unleash my creativity in its unfiltered, raw, ugly form where comparison doesn’t exist.
process life. make plans. romanticise every moment like nobody is watching
And indeed, life is made to be lived on our own terms not through he filter of social norms. So take this chance and break away for 3 days. I will still be here waiting for you to share your experience. Or better, would you consider writing me a letter?
Much love,
Ella